Dear Mrs. McVeigh,

I may be old fashioned, but when I give a gift to my grandchildren, I expect a thank you note.  I never seem to receive one.  They are all elementary school aged, so maybe their mother (my daughter-on-law) does not think that they need to write them yet.  I would think she would at least write one on their behalf.  I have tried dropping hints to my son and daughter-in-law about it, but they do not seem to get them.  Are thank you notes old fashioned, or should I be mad about not receiving them?  I have thought about not giving my grandchildren gifts anymore, but why should I punish them? I blame their parents for not raising them correctly.

Mad Grandma

Dear Mad Grandma,

I agree with you that your grandchildren should write a thank you note to you for any type of gift that you give to them.  You are also correct to expect your daughter-in-law or son to write one on their behalf if they are too young to write yet.  As soon as my kids were old enough to sign their name, I would write the note, and have them write their name on the bottom.  They now write their own notes, and I just look them over, and make sure they make it to the mailbox.

As for dropping hints, how about giving your grandchildren a gift of personalized stationary for their next birthday?   When they ask you what they should use if for, you can sit down with them and give them an example of how to write a thank you note.  They could bring their new stationary to your house after their party, and you could help them write all of their notes for their gifts, and make it a fun project that you work on with them.