Last summer I received a call from an SMU student.  She said she was taking a Journalism class, and wanted to interview me about my opinion on hand written notes.  I met her at the local coffee shop, and she explained that her assignment came from our culture becoming so technologically savvy.  A lot of people have replaced a hand written thank you note with an electronic one.  Society now thinks an email or text as a thank you is as good as writing the actual note on nice stationary, addressing an envelope, and putting it in the mail.  I always feel old- fashioned when speaking to college students about etiquette, so my answer is what you would expect. I told her that traditional etiquette dictates a hand written thank you note, and there are no exceptions.  An email instead of a phone call following a party to say “thank you and I had a good time” is fine.   Emailing someone to thank him for a birthday or wedding gift is not acceptable.  A traditional hand written note, sent by “snail mail” (as she put it), is still expected. 

After I told her my thoughts, she took it a step further, and it really got me thinking about how hand written notes are still valued beyond those who follow the rules of etiquette.  Her example was a soldier overseas who gets excited when receiving mail.  Some soldiers have access to email, and can check it now and again, but the fact that they have an actual letter to hold on to means they can read it again and again.  I know I still get a twinge of excitement when I come home and see my mail has arrived.  You never know what your mailbox may hold – cards on your birthday or at Christmas, an invitation to a fun party, or a note thanking you for a gift that someone really loved and appreciated.  If I get excited about my mail, just think about how a soldier feels when he or she gets mail.  It is news from someone who is thinking about him, and how much they appreciate the sacrifices he is making for our country.

After our meeting, my mind jumped to how I started journaling to my children when they were in the womb, and how I plan on giving them the journals after they are married.  My other thought behind the journals were in the horrible event that my children lose their mother at a young age, my husband would have something to give them, and they would be able to read over and over how special they were to me.  

Typically I am not one to save a lot of notes and cards, but I do still have the first card my husband gave me on Valentines Day when we were dating.  It is a giant Garfield card, and he enclosed a hand written a note expressing his love and feelings for me.  I still love it when he leaves me cards or writes me emails about his feelings for me, but his email can be read by his employer at any time, so in emails we are careful what we say.  In a personal note you can say whatever you want, and keep it between the two of you.  Though our hand-written notes are between us for now, I love the stories you hear about grandchildren or great grandchildren going through the attic, and finding love notes between their ancestors.  Maybe down the road people will talk about finally cleaning out great grandma’s computer, and find romantic emails that their great grandfather sent from work, but I have a feeling it just won’t be the same.