Part of growing up is making mistakes and learning from them.

Here are some manners mistakes children commonly make while a guest at someone else’s home, and my suggestions on how to help your child with them.

Not waiting to be invited in. A lot of children knock or ring the doorbell too many times, and then, when the door is open, they barge in. Ask your child to be patient while waiting at the door.

Not asking where to go. Children get excited about being at a relative’s or a friend’s house — especially if it is a new place to them — and often run straight to their friend’s room, the backyard, etc. Remind your child not to wander around someone’s house. He should wait for his friend or an adult host to instruct him where he is welcome to go. Especially do not open any closed doors.

Asking for food and drink. Wait for food or drink to be offered. Refrain from asking for those delicious cookies that your hostess made last time. Of course, nothing is wrong with asking for a glass of water, but otherwise, wait. Also, even if you’re at Grandma’s house, never go into a pantry or refrigerator unless invited.

Not offering to help with any of the day's preparations. Offer to carry out the snacks, set up a game, or set and clear the table for a meal. A hostess always loves help, so knowing how to set a table is so appreciated. Asking to help with the dishes after dinner is even better.

 Have you ever been in line at a store and proud to hear a fellow customer be patient, kind, and continue to be polite even after things are not quite going his way?  Even though the sales associate is new and had to ring up his merchandise several times, the person continues to smile and tell them no problem.  The customer finally gets finished and apologizes to you for having to wait, even though it was not even his fault.  Unfortunately we do not see and hear this often enough.  Typically we want melt into the background because of how rude a customer is acting.  It is even worse when they do it in front of their children.  You know these kids are probably the ones acting disrespectful in their word choices to their teachers and friend’s parents.People are not as respectful with their words as they used to be.  We teach our children from birth to say please and thank you, but then turn around and forget to do it ourselves.  When someone bumps into you, you should expect to get an “excuse me,” but often do not.  Children who use the word “mam” after saying yes or no always impress me.  It sounds so much more respectful than the typical “yah” that you get from most kids.   

Your tone of voice can also make or brake how polite and respectful you sound.  I have one child when he was young who knew the right words to use, but would just blow it with his tone of voice.  If you do not have a polite tone in your voice, you may as well forget trying to sound polite at all. 

Next time you hear a stranger say something polite, be sure to acknowledge it with saying something back or at least a big smile.  When children use polite words I always thank them for their good manners.  Any kind of positive affirmation should help them to continue being polite.

 When it comes to teaching a young child good manners, finding a positive spin on etiquette will bring you more success than threats and negative words. To teach your children manners, make it fun and interactive.

When someone you know has a loved one pass away, doing or saying nothing is the most comfortable thing to do, but is also the rudest. For showing the person that you are sorry for his loss, as well as following the rules of etiquette, here are some suggestions. 

As soon as you see the person, acknowledge his loss. If you will not be able to see him, then a phone call and/or handwritten note would be appropriate.

Find out when the wake and funeral are scheduled, and plan on attending. Funerals are not fun for most people, but remember that funerals are for the living, not for the dead. Going to the funeral of an acquaintance’s loved one will mean so much to the person.

Men should always dress in a dark coat and tie, and women should wear a conservative dress, skirt or suit.

If the person suffering the loss is your boss or your employee, attend the wake and funeral if it is in town. The office should also send flowers to the funeral home. If there is not a budget for this, then take up a collection from your coworkers, or, as the boss, pay for it out of your own pocket.

If you are sending flowers to an acquaintance or coworker, you should spend at least $25, preferably closer to $50 or more. If the person is a friend, then $50 or more for flowers or a donation to a favorite charity would be acceptable. 

If you are a friend of the family and are invited to a reception afterwards, bring food for the family. Bring it in a disposable container so the family does not have to return it to you.

If you find out about a funeral after the fact, acknowledge this as soon as possible in person and/or send a handwritten note. In the note, express your sympathy for the loss; an apology for not attending the funeral is also fine.

If you are the one with the loss of a loved one, write thank you notes to all who gave flowers and charitable donations, and brought food. If all or anyone who attended the services touches you, a written note would of course be appreciated.

Eating out several times a week is part of our lifestyle as Dallas-area residents, so you’re bound to encounter an unpleasant experience from time to time.

Letting the management at a restaurant know of your dissatisfaction is doing them a favor. They want you to tell them (instead of all of your friends) what was wrong with your dining experience.

If your complaint has to do with the food, you have every right to eat a few bites and send it back for a replacement. One time I was out to eat with my parents and my father found a nail in his pasta. The owner/chef came out and told us he figured out that the nail came from his strainer. He offered the table a complimentary dessert, but, in this case, he should have offered to take care of our whole bill.

If it is a complaint about the service, find the manager on your way out, and politely and calmly explain why you are dissatisfied. My husband did that at one of our favorite restaurants and the manager took immediate action, speaking to the server right away. This server continues to wait on us and now is nothing but attentive and delightful.

What should you tip after a bad experience? If the server was bad or rude, leaving a small tip sends a clear message. If it is the fault of the kitchen, leave a 15 percent tip for the server, and inform the manager of your waiter’s good service and the kitchen’s shortcomings.

If you have an exceptionally great experience, leave at least a 20 percent tip, and definitely tell the manager about it on your way out.